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AMSTERDAM BICYCLES
Beware the Tinkling Bell

You say Neider, I say neither. It's all Dutch to me. You've seen the terror flick "Hostel" and decided it would be cool to go to Amsterdam to get laid, stoned and inviscerated (hopefully in that order should you chose the last option). Amsterdam is a good city for exploring on foot and wandering Amsterdam's Red Light District until the wee hours with the prostitutes in the windows, some of them rather surprisingly unappealing compared to the ladies of Hamburg's sex street (see Reeperbahn) for the overpaid spots and crowded with jostling tourists - so many Brits with a few too many beers, can be more chilling than titilating.

But the real terror of Amsterdam are bicycles. Everybody rides them at Lance Armstrong speed down the sidewalks, nevermind two-wheeler lanes. And you're likely to get creamed before you hear the dinking little bell of "get out of my way!" pique. Walking in Amsterdam will get you around quite easily, with the occasional tram trolley ride. If you want to avoid the bikes, take a canal boat along the canals lined with ancient half-timbered building creaking over the centuries. But if you really want to have fun in Amsterdam, ask a bartender to explain why - if the country is Holland, they call it The Netherlands (Der Neiderlands), but the language is Dutch. Talk about an expression of tortured logic. © Bargain Travel Europe

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